I was in a
department store today. A little boy about five was being held against a wall by his dad. The dad kept insisting the boy take a three-minute Time Out, then he would be released. The boy squirmed to get away, using his voice the best he could.
The father seemed to believe he needed to be in charge. Inside me, I became that little boy. I did not want to be over powered in that way. Minutes went by as the father held the boy tight, quietly demanding the time out. "I want mommy," the boy repeated. His dad told him he could see mommy if he was still for the three minutes.
I looked for ways to interrupt the conflict without being harmed. I simply witnessed, attempting to make eye contact with the boy. He seemed powerless, wanting to be free. I knew that if the dad had joined the boy at his level, held him close, not having to be right, the conflict could have dissolved.
I waited until I found my own calmness, and clear intention. Without more thought, I walked over to the father and stood close enough to ask, in a neutral but strong voice, "Do you have the time?" He was slightly startled as he removed his hands from the boy, paused to take out his phone, look at the time, and said, "10:48." His hands remained at his side, the boy relaxed and was quiet. The conflict ended. Everyone quieted. They
The father seemed to believe he needed to be in charge. Inside me, I became that little boy. I did not want to be over powered in that way. Minutes went by as the father held the boy tight, quietly demanding the time out. "I want mommy," the boy repeated. His dad told him he could see mommy if he was still for the three minutes.
I looked for ways to interrupt the conflict without being harmed. I simply witnessed, attempting to make eye contact with the boy. He seemed powerless, wanting to be free. I knew that if the dad had joined the boy at his level, held him close, not having to be right, the conflict could have dissolved.
I waited until I found my own calmness, and clear intention. Without more thought, I walked over to the father and stood close enough to ask, in a neutral but strong voice, "Do you have the time?" He was slightly startled as he removed his hands from the boy, paused to take out his phone, look at the time, and said, "10:48." His hands remained at his side, the boy relaxed and was quiet. The conflict ended. Everyone quieted. They
walked away.
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