DEPARMTENT STORE BOY

I was in a department store today. A little boy about five was being held against a wall by his dad.  The dad kept insisting the boy take a three-minute Time Out, then he would be released.  The boy squirmed to get away, using his voice the best he could.

The father seemed to believe he needed to be in charge.  Inside me, I became that little boy.  I did not want to be over powered in that way.  Minutes went by as the father held the boy tight, quietly demanding the time out.  "I want mommy," the boy repeated.  His dad told him he could see mommy if he was still for the three minutes.

I looked for ways to interrupt the conflict without being harmed.  I simply witnessed, attempting to make eye contact with the boy. He seemed powerless, wanting to be free.  I knew that if the dad had joined the boy at his level, held him close, not having to be right, the conflict could have dissolved.  

I waited until I found my own calmness, and clear intention.  Without more thought, I walked over to the father and stood close enough to ask, in a neutral but strong voice, "Do you have the time?"  He was slightly startled as he removed his hands from the boy, paused to take out his phone, look at the time, and said, "10:48."  His hands remained  at his side, the boy relaxed and was quiet.  The conflict ended.  Everyone quieted.  They

walked away.   

THE COIN

I held my hands out in front of me, one of the hands holding a coin, hidden by a closed fist.  I asked the eight-year-old girl to guess which hand held the coin. She scanned both hands, deciding which hand held the coin.   I stood still and silent. She wondered for another minute, then pointed to my right hand.  "Not there," she said, slightly disappointed. 

I moved my hands behind my back again to to hide which hand held the coin.  This time, with my hands still behind me, I told her “to not guess”-- to not try to figure it out----to not have to be right.  Instead, "Let your instinct, and your body point to the hand.  Allow yourself to be wrong, and trust your body to select the hand with the coin.  Let it not matter.  Just point instantly.

Most of us learned to try hard to be right. to pick the right one of anything,  Embarrassed if we are wrong.   I encouraged her to go beyond guessing, and let her body just point, without hesitation, as soon as I show my hands. 

She did it.  Without a second of hesitation, she instantly pointed to the hand with the coin.  Again and again, ten more times in a row, she transcended her mind's need to be right, and instead, instantly pointed to the hand with the coin.  We were both elated.  We were done. 

Later, with a hidden coin in one of her hands, she calmly instructed another young person to "let your body choose which hand I hold a coin." 

DREAM BEFORE BIRTH

Two months before his birth, our now twenty-year-old son came to me in a dream.  While still in the dream, slightly awake, I reached for the small tape recorder.  I was aware enough to know the dream needed to be recorded.   

It was only when I was fully awake and transcribing the words the next day---- words that filled two typewritten pages, single space, that my life, and understanding of children would be altered forever.  The information was explicit, direct, and universal.  Later, I was inspired to write: Free The Children, a book later published. 

 “I am coming here to help dissolve the artificial barriers between people,” he said in the dream.  “I wll have a name when you, my mother and I see each other equally,” he continued.  Four years passed before a name appeared.  I noticed, during those pre-name years, when I was seeing him as just a child.  I quickly changed my perception to see him fully as a whole person.  Until the name came, we called him little person, sweet face, or little one. Still do actually. 

Without ever sharing the dream with him, (he wasn't interested).  I continue to witness how his simple presence brings people together.  He quietly stands for everyone, and takes no sides.  I have learned to do the same.  When I am trapped by old learned beliefs and fears about education, money or "think of your future"thoughts, I silently soften, remembering the final words of the dream, "“I do not need you to be with me.  I need youto be with yourself.  When you are with yourself, you are with me."     

CHILDREN ARE US

Children are us.  They are not simply out there in little bodies, or teenage bodies.  They are us.  They didn't come here to disturb anyone, or inconvenience the adults around them.  Not the parents.  Not the teachers, Not anyone.  They did not get born, nor did we, to become consumers, trouible makers, cute beings to buy things for, or become recipients of rules chores and grades.  They just didn't.  Neither did we.

Who knew our lives would become based on grades, regulations, time schedules. accumulation of stuff, and ultimately expected to gather money as a gardner would gather seed.  At birth, most of us came into this particular world with a sense of wonder, and often even a smile.  We were just born into a world unknown, and into a family that wondered about who we were as much as we wondered about who they were. 

 Children are physically smaller than the impact they have on big people.  Children really are us.  When we were small, the original us, walking or not, we were gradually nudged towards absorbing layers of identities, becoming like those around us,  As we grew into bigger bodies, we were surrounded by beliefs and thoughts not our own. 

I think that little us is still totally present.  She and he show up in the form of tatoos, dance, sillyness, compassion, kindness, kisses, hugs, tears and those moments of uninhibited reaching out to strangers to say hi!