LIVING WITHOUT WORRY

I have another intention now.   To not worry.  I admit, I worry about this one.  I worry about learning to not have to worry.  Worry takes up so much of my time even when I am not aware of it.   Then suddenly, I realize I am worrying.  It is such an endless going nowhere, process.

I learned to believe that worry is normal, natural and part of being alive....or not being alive,  Not sure about that last one yet? I asked myself, "what would I do if I Could not worry.  Not that I wouldn't, but if I absolutely could not worry if I wanted to. "I would just be here with what is happening in each moment," was the response.  The worry voice came in right away, "Oh sure, read another book about power of now, be here now, and stuff about being present.  Uh huh." 

I made a commitment, like an adventure, to free myself of worry.  Worrying feels like walking on water with lead shoes,  I decided to practice not worrying, or at least notice when I am. I’ve given myself permission to believe there is a way to go through the day without the act of worry consuming my energy. and listening to beliefs not my own.  Worry goes in circles and resolves nothing, ever.  Not worrying is an adventure in going beyond what seems impossible,

 It’s a practice, a personal skill of trusting that moments will happen no matter what I attempt to control.   The inspiration is to be free. 

CELEBRATE CHILDREN

The five teachers opened the parent conference for our 13-year old son with the words, "We are all meeting here today to celebrate  your son."  I welled up with tears hearing the word Celebrate.   No one mentioned deficiencies or how he needed to improve, or be better, think of his future, or in some way, not be quite good enough yet.  There was no mention of grades, tests, college or rules broken.  Then again, this school doesn't use grades to measure people.  They use relationship, creativity, respect, personal connection and engagement.

For ten minutes, with out son present, we heard what was right about him.  It was not so much the content of what they said; it was more their calm and soft tone of voice, and their way of seeing children and the world - people wanting to do right, to be connected, inclusive, kind and creative.

I wondered what life would have been like for me had all my teachers seen what was right about me?  Whay joy that would have been.  So, I can do it now myself for others.  After the teachers finished, I  was asked if I had any questions.  "There is nothing to add," I replied.  "For our son to be around you folks all day long is all I could ever want."  

BEING THE IMPOSSIBLE: CHANGE

"There is a place within us where our daily life story can only go so far.  Attempting to understand, work out, find solutions, and feel better about a person or a situation, becomes .........ummmm, boring.   If not boring, at least appearing to be hopeless.   Believing we are lost, struggling, and "not doing what we should be doing, or not good enough yet," becomes a daily worry thought.   It can take us over.  We tend to be so familiar with blame, fear and the belief that something is missing in our lives, that to do anything other than feel victimized and wronged, seems not only impossible, but not even an option.

   So what to do?  We can Switch movies.  Just like a multiplex theater.  We  be the change we want and expect in others, any others, the closer the better.  The practice is simple, yet can feel impossible--- outside the possibility of any human being.  

We decide to hold space for everyone, everyone--- no matter who they are, what they believe, or what we believe they have done to us, .  Being the change, all by ourselves, works immediately.  It is a Shamanic act.  You demonstrate by action rather than dialog.  Tension dissolves.  And when it does, you’re inspired to do it again.  It gets easier, and soon mind thoughts and words,  have less influence.  It is then that our  intuition, hearts, and knowing self, kick in automatically.

  Instead of "waiting," we lead by living it, no matter what.  No matter what.   Global warming "out there" becomes heart warming inside you."

BABY AND THE WORLD

So what does a father and his six-month-old baby have to do with what is going on in the world between countries, governments and political chaos?  They do.  They just do  A father walked by me in a crowded little cafe, pushing a traditional carriage with his young six-month old boy lying flat on his back looking up in wonder....calm, silent and, just there.

The scene itself wasn't unusual, except the father was calm too.  They matched each other.  As they walked by, the father was having a quiet, easy respectful conversation with the boy.  I relaxed inside just being around them. They were with each other completely, their eyes touching. I didn't hear the words spoken.  I simply noticed his soft voice, gentle and equal, as if knowing the six-month-old person was already a full, total and whole human being.   Size and age did not divide them.  In the midst of the busyness and chaos around them, they were with each other completely.    

Witnessing the dad and his young son, reminded me to slow down and be where I am, over and over again………..and how children and adults of any age, and size, can always be.  They showed up in my world to remind me to be still inside, and make connection with everyone, or know when I am not……so I can be still again.  The world "out there" will feel it, even if I don't fully believe it will.