The Rabbi

I was hired as the director for a Jewish Temple Day camp in Los Angeles when I was 21.  Some of the campers were Jewish, and most were something else.  The 65 campers ranged in age from 6 to 14. 

I got to hire the 10 women and men counselors, and I was also the driver of the 65 passenger bus that took them to the beach, and all kinds of interesting places around Southern California.  I loved it.  All the counselors I hired were people-people. 

At the end of one day, before dropping the young people off at their homes  I first stopped by to see the Rabbi at the Temple to check on the schedule for the next day.  I left the bus waiting at the curb with the 65 campers plus 10 counselors.   "Bruce," the rabbi began, "When you drop off the seven-year old negro boy, tell him he cannot come back any more. Don't tell him why." 

”Tell me why,” I asked. 

"Because some of the parents said they did not want their children around negros, and

would withdraw their children." 
"No," I replied, "I will not do that." 
"It's a business decision," he said.  "We have to stay in business."
"I will not do that.  I will quit now if you ask again, and you can drive the children home and find another director.  With our history of being discriminated against and killed because we are Jewish, how could you even ask that?"

Instinctively, he replied with a standard business  response.  I was silent. He paused, and looked into my eyes.  In silence, he withdrew his request. 

I drove the "campers" home and the "negro" child got to return, and no parents removed their children over the rest of the summer. 

For me, I got to remove the pedestal  I carried about men and women of God   More importantly,I discovered a bit more awareness, and natural instinct to stand for, and with everyone, including the Rabbi.      

A BIKE RENTAL

My son and I went to Venice Beach near Los Angeles so I could rent a bike and he could simply step onto his skateboard.  An hour later, I returned the rented  bike and informed the business owner that the gears were slipping and not shifting well.  I asked for a credit.  He immediately replied, "No," and said angrily, "just forget paying me."  In the past, he had often seemed quick and sarcastic as his way of being.  " 

I walked away feeling not so good inside.  It wasn't a matter of who was right. I felt sad about the encounter.  By the time I got to my car a few minutes later, I know I wanted, and had to change how I felt,  and probably how he felt.  From the back seat of my car, I picked up a new copy of my book FREE THE CHILDREN, and walked back to the bike rental place. 

I found the man as he looked everywhere but into my eyes  "I apologize,"  I began, 
"for what just took place between us."  His face softened as did mine.  I handed him the
book and said, "I'm sorry.  I want you to have a copy of my book. You're a good man."   I apologized again.  Tears came to his eyes, as he accepted the gift and extended his hand to reach mine.  I had tears too.  My body relaxed.  I felt good inside. 

ORIGINAL ME

An adult person is a set of beliefs and behaviors, not our own.  An adult is self-perceived as a woman or man that behaves in specific ways.   She or he often speaks in a voice of authority, seriousness, and a language never quite their own.   Take the adult out of me, and what is left?  Me.  The original me, in my case, was when I was
12-years old.  I remember me.  

I freely danced, did hand springs, somersaults, rode my bike down hills that the adult would never do.  The 12 year old, yet to be adult me, laughed a lot.  Not at other people, but with them.  He found it difficult to take seriously much of what the adult me.......does.  Even spiders weren't that scary. 

COMPASSION FOR EVERYONE

 The "hate the Jews" experiences I have gone through as a child, (and sometimes still hear), allows me to know, feel and have great compassion for most others in the world that feel or believe they are not wanted.  

The traumatic mean stuff of my past, taught me compassion for others in the world that experience such hatred, marginalization, blame and never being heard or seen.  I've learned to see personal negative events as having "happened for me, not to me."  How did being treated so badly happen for me?  I learned to feel what people of color feel every day.  What women often feel when not "seen," nor respected, or just seen as bodies on  display.  Or what children go through when surrounded by an adult world that talks down to them, demands more, punishes them and teaches them "no matter what you do, it is never good enough."

When asked "what have you done with all those past hurtful experiences?  Therapy? Counseling?"  What I have done with all the past hurts, is learn to honor the feelings of others, with listening deeply, caring and joining with them.  The feelings are an inspiration to step into situations where adults or children are being marginalized with attitude, tone of voice or "make wrong."  I have learned how to, more often, find ways to bring people together, release my own judgments that often lie hidden in habit and familiarity.  I can still momentarily feel the past hurt in my body, release some tears and then appreciate that I get to still have tears and feel everything.  

When I'm lost in myself, (the poor me part),  I notice it, and give myself permission to honor "the poor me" too. 

TRUTH OF THINGS

A six-year-old girl sitting in the lap of her dad, both quietly talking, smiling and holding one another.  His voice is equal to hers, hers to his.  A quiet calm surrounds them.
 
They slowly get up from their chairs, open the glass doors, and walk outside to cross the street, holding hands.At a distance, they are one.  Inside me, I see the truth of things. 

TEN YEARS OLD AND COUNTING

When I was ten years old, growing up in Los Angeles in a regular middle class neighborhood with all white people, some who had problems =with Jewish people too, I met my first black person when she came to our home one day a week to clean for my mom.  Her name was Minerva 

  Minerva.  I didn't really notice her color in any significant way.  I just noticed she had darker skin, and I thought nothing of it at the time.  At 7:30AM on the one day per week she came to our small house, I sat with her at the kitchen table as she drank a cup of coffee, black with no cream, while eating a piece of toast.  We sat across from each other just talking and sharing.calmly and honestly. 

I had about 30 minutes with Minerva before I walked the two blocks to my elementary school.   Minerva was the first human being to "see" me.  She always made eye contact, and her voice remained even and kind.  She talked with me, not down to me.  I did not have words at the time for how she met me equally.  I only knew she was different than most adults who spoke to me as a younger person, not considered a full human yet.

At the age of 10, I learned how much Minerva was being paid for the eight hours of work on this one day, and her two hour roundtrip travel by bus across Los Angeles.  I immediately asked my parents to double her pay out of fairness and justice.  They did.  They listened to me.

Years later, when I was 23 years old, I received a phone call from Minerva's family in Los Angeles, inviting me to her funeral.  I lived 400 miles away at that time, and I didn't think I mattered that much to the family, for me  to attend the funeral.  I took the invitation as a "nice" thing, but not that special.   I later found out, that I was the only White person close to Minerva, and she had told her family about me. 

I was fortunate to go to the only high school in Los Angeles that had a blend of white, black and Latino students that simply came together without making it happen.  And it was my own experience with extreme prejudice at the age of five that gave me a sample of what it is like to be marginalized, hated and spit on for having an identity of being Jewish, something I was not aware that I was, when five. 

I soon learned how the dominant white world controlled things, and often made war on people of color, and did so believing they were right and justified.   I did get to visit Milton Anderson at his home with his family when I was 16.  Milton was another Black man in my high school. 

Then I went on to teach high school only to find the principal segregating the black students from the white students.  I did speak up right away.  I did lose my job, but that was OK.  Then I got to work among Native Americans for three years, and found the same marginalization, a word that seems too sweet for what was happening.   Again I spoke up and reached out, and lost the job, but gained many friends and fellow and sister lovers of people. 

Today, I can get angry and frustrated with the continuing injustice and ignorance around color, dominant cultures, and children everywhere. I am left with devoting my life to finding ways to stand with and for all people.     

In a dream I had years ago, my father, a man who died decades ago, stepped out of an elevator that had just descended, walked towards me at my present age, as I stood alone in an old wood paneled courtroom.  He walked right up to me, looked me in the eye, and said, "Your life is about fairness and Justice."  He then turned around, walked to the elevator, stepped in and the doors closed and he ascended. 

These stories keep me awake, and remind me to make contact with everyone I meet.
Even if just a simple Hi.. 

-- 

BEING A WHITE GUY

I am a white guy who grew up in Los Angeles decades ago.  My high school was the only one in Los Angeles to have a blend of people of color, and white students. 

However, I only came to know my first Native American person when I was 26 years old.  I had been teaching in a Fresno, California high school when I noticed all the Black students were in one classroom, separate from others.  When I discovered the principal was segregating the students, I brought it to the attention of the State. 

 I was a first year teacher, having just turned twenty-three.  Before notifying the State, each of the twenty two teachers agreed to share what they knew to the investigators.  Officials arrived.  A hearing was held, and I was terminated.  Afraid of losing their jobs, none of the twenty-two teachers spoke up at the hearing.  

 The principal remained for another 10 years.  The unresolved segregation continued.  I was still 23 years old, had one wife and two small children, and in search of a new job.
 
Of course, the termination was a blessing.  Not only did I find a job, I became aware that some people will stand up for others, and some are not ready to.  I was hired to "counsel" Native Americans and coordinate a government sponsored project to allegedly train young native people (Indians) to be welders and electricians. 

 I had never known a Native person except in movies.  I had believed that "Indians" were all the things that "white people" were not.  Soon, I discovered the meaning and practice of the word Sacred.  Soon, I discovered the meaning of Relationship and family.  It was Linda Worldturner, a Lakota Sioux 18-year-old young woman who told me, "everything in life is about relationship."  

My life changed.  For three years, I learned to transcend all my learned beliefs about Native people and culture, and instead found "home."  I soon became an advocate, among the all-white staff, for the 200 students from many tribes around the country. 
 
That advocacy role was a natural one.  I knew my time at this project was limited, yet 
the job and income was secondary to advocate for fairness and justice.  No choice. 

By this time, I realized that my work in the world was to find ways to bring people together, to see the third side to things, and to practice seeing, not only through my own eyes, but the eyes of others as well.