WORLD AS A SCHOOL

 If I knew I had 10 minutes to live, and I had no concern for being judged, criticized or being marginalized and made wrong by others, what  would I want to say, publicly, out loud, freely? I mean after I have hugged and kissed and said goodbye to all those close to me, what would I want to  say about life?
 
 I’ll pretend I have only ten minutes now. So, I say this: “Find a  creative, loving, kind, open, respectful way to teach children the things  they want to know more about.  Delete the hierarchy of rank and authority  between children and adults. Just let that overseer authority go.  Transform school buildings to meeting rooms for creative and uncreative  people in the community to gather and offer to children exactly what they
want to learn.
 
 Get rid of tests and grades and all those tools that require fear,  competition, and comparison – separating me from you, and by their very  nature, imply children need to be coerced to learn, explore and wonder  about things. Make available to all children, experiences, people and  teachings that hold the world open, that inspire and transcend all perceived  limits.

If it is skateboarding, help them build one from scratch.   Help them make a cartoon book. A video movie. A tree house. A real house. Let them be around adults that meet them equally, are kind, have a sense of  humor, and can hug freely. Take a long bike trip. Allow reading to come naturally as it will.   Reading and math aren't difficult.  Handling the fear, tension and beliefs about reading and math are.
 
 I’d add, “Go to another country, another neighborhood, another person whose color and language is different, and say hi. Just say hi.
 
 

       

I WONDERED WHY I WOULDN'T

When I was in the sixth grade, growing up in Los Angeles, I once asked the teacher a question. I didn't think it was a special question, or anything anyone wouldn't think of.

I had been sitting in classrooms since kindergarten, sometimes six-hours a day, for six years, which adds up to about 6,500 hours. Each year, at some point, I would hear from some adult person that I was being prepared for the real world. I never really knew what that meant, nor did I seem to care.  It was just a phrase uttered every so often by some taller person.
 

One day, and in front of the entire class, I innocently asked the teacher, Ms.Thurber, "If we are always being prepared for the real world, what is this now?  Are the past six years not real?  Does the real world start after I am 18?"  A few of the other kids muttered under their breath, "Yeah, yeah."

 Ms. Thurber's face appeared to turn a light red. I remember her giving me a long response, as she led me down the hall to the principal's office.....where she suggested I needed to see a counselor.  The principal, Mr. Rose wondered why I would ask such a question.  I wondered why I wouldn't.   

CORPORATE REALNESS

I was on the phone with a Verizon customer service person.  My questions were met with scripted responses and corporate language.  I paused a minute to calm myself and drop into my body, so to speak.
I noticed my own tension and softened into it.  I wanted to be present rather than reactive, or in a word conflict.  After a minute or two, we continued our back and forth conversation.  I knew I was done with continuing to dialogue with this person, and I did not want to "make him wrong." 

I decided to politely disconnect with Alex, the representative, and call back later to find someone else to offer a solution.  "Alex," I said, "I am going to stop now and go with my son to have some food."

"You're with your son?" he replied.  "I haven't seen my son in three years."   I was startled by his personal
words.  My heart came alive.  I paused, then asked, "Where is your son?"   "He's on a mission," Alex
replied.  I paused some more.  "I assume he is on a military mission, or a missionary somewhere."
"He has been a missionary in Asia for three years."

"You miss him," I said.
"Yes."

"Thank you for being with me on the phone Alex.  You are a good person to have met.  Thank you
for being so kind and real.  I will go now, feeling at home inside, thanks to you."   "Me too," he replied..

"Shalom," he said.
"Shalom" I replied.

We ended the call.    

JUSTICE AND FAIRNESS FOR CHILDREN: beyond parenting

Children are one of the last groups in the world to require the support and awareness of the adult world to be seen and treated as complete human beings, whole at birth, exquisitely sensitive.  I was a "children" once and I always sensed when the adults around me were with me, not at me.  

Sexism and racism are easily described.  I'm thinkin' no label at all for young people, or younger people.  When I was a little human, as early as two years of age, I, like most younger people, could sense and feel when the big people around me
 

LISTENING ALL THE WAY IN

BLENDED COLORS

A seven-year-old African American boy was sitting across from his white mom, just a few feet away from me, in a coffee shop.  They were engaged in serious conversation.  She was listening intently, completely present with him, as his hands animated his words. They faced each other directly, their eyes in constant contact.  

At first, I simply appreciated seeing the blended color family being with each other.  Then my attention shifted to how their eyes met....how the mother was so completely engaged with her son and his animated way of telling her a story.  She was genuinely with him completely; her body posture suggesting she wanted to be exactly where she was. 

I saw no age difference.  I imagined what he or any child must feel like when an adult person, parent or not, is honestly present, and wants to be.  She was not only listening, she was hearing him with her eyes as well.  She cared about what he was saying.  No hurry.  No rushing.  No busyness....just her presence in his world...and his presence in her world.  She even leaned forward a bit to be closer to him.  

MIND-LESS

"My mind is full, therefore I cannot think anything, and am free of worry and scare.  My mind is full.  No more room for thinking stuff.  I call it Mindfulness.  

I am going for mind-less-ness.  Less mind, more now stuff.  Now is always available and here by my side.  Since my mind is full, I can use time to reach out to others all around me. 

I can help fill their minds with hello's, I like you's, and recognition of what they bring by being alive  I can reach in behind the public curtain, and silently say, "I see you."   There is nothing you have to do, or say.  "I see you anyway."