VOICE OF UNIVERSAL CHILD

SACRED WORDS OF CHILDREN EVERYWHERE

 Include me before making decisions that affect me.

 Do not throw anything away that belongs to me, unless I am asked first.   

Find out what my experience is like with the teachers in school, and believe me.  Take action if necessary.  Stand up for me too, as a person.

Talk to me in the same voice you talk to adults with

Respect my interests even though they may seem just cute to you

Do not refer to me as a "terrible two" person.   See me as a whole feeling person when I am a teenager.  I am more than  raging hormones or "just a teenager."  I will do the same for you no matter what your age.

If you are afraid for me, tell me so honestly with your heart.

Do not punish me ever.  Teach me.  Hold me.  Love me. Trust that I, just like you, want to do what is right, and don’t want to hurt anyone.

Help me understand what I don’t know.  Don't call me names, or label me or compare me, or make me compete for anything.  Help me cooperate and collaborate.  Be the example for me.

Hug me, Kiss me, and Hold me a lot.  Be kind with your smile.  It’s all ok.

If you are upset with something in your life, know when you are upset.   Don't be angry with me or blame me, or judge me.  If you want me to know something and hear you, notice your voice and angry or judgmental thoughts before you give them to me.  I, like you, do not feel good when I am admonished, made wrong or blamed.  It just doesn't feel good.  I want to hear and understand you.  I like being connected.  

If you feel embarrassed by something I am doing, hug me.  Come closer.  I am being myself completely.  If I need to be more aware of others, I want to know that.  I can hear your kind voice remind me.      

When you are with me, be completely with me.  If you are in your thoughts, pretending to be with me, then you are not with me at all.

Treat me exactly like you would want me to treat you.  Exactly.

Assume that I “see” everything.  I am exquisitely sensitive and can feel pretense, falseness, and hidden agendas.  I can also feel love.

Know when you are sarcastic.  Sarcasm is mean and creates distance, hurt and separates us, almost without noticing.   Humor brings us together. 

If I am fidgety, seem bored, have difficulty sitting still, talk too much, appear to have a short attention span, please join with me.  Ask me, with an attitude of wonder, what my experience is in the classroom, or wherever I appear to not want to be.  I am not ADD or ADHD, or any diagnosis.  I simply want to be where there is life, movement and creativity happening. (ask me what I mean by all this).  Together, we’ll find understanding.

    
When it looks like I am having, what you call a tantrum, it is all I know  to do to make contact, to be heard, to be taken seriously, to be held.  I am not wanting to bother anyone, or cause trouble

I am naturally creative.  Notice how I make things out of leaves, or sticks, or bubbles, or crayons. Notice how I like to climb and explore, and discover everything all at once. Listen to my imagination at work.  That's not just kid stuff. That is what you might do too if you would join with me.

 Sometimes, I know what to do without reading written instructions.  I don't have words for it, I just know.  I have the ability to see how things go together.  I may do things differently than the way you learned.  That's ok.  Both ways may work.  And anyway, I have fun finding my own way.  The destination don't matter that much.

I may take longer than you completing something.  That is because I am in no hurry to get anything done. I haven't learned yet that hurrying, being busy and always anxious, are fun.

I do not need you to always say Yes to me.  Actually, yes or no don't matter.  What matters is how you hold me in your heart, how you see me, and your appreciation for me.  'Cause when you appreciate me, and see through my eyes too, a yes or no will always be the right thing for both of us.

I do not need you to be with me.  I need you to be with yourself.  When you are with yourself, you are with me.

No matter how old I am: (three years old, sixteen, or forty-five), I am not intending to deceive you, take advantage of you, use you, or disrespect you.  If you have those thoughts or the belief that I am "asking too much," that is not my intent.  I am really, searching out ways to make contact, and to be with you, for you to acknowledge my presence.

When I cry, I am feeling.  Crying can be like sneezing, feeling close to you, singing or running.  It is just my body expressing itself.  I might have been sad, or hurt or afraid.  When I am feeling in my body, I am relieved.  I have few words.  All you need do is be present with me, so that I know you are there, but not trying to stop me, make me feel better or fix me.  Being with me is good enough..

I am wise. I know things.  I see things.  I naturally know what I need to know.  I believe and trust myself and my intuition. Unless I learn to not trust myself.   I have to be taught from the outside to not believe the truth of things.

I sometimes feel safe in the world.  Sometimes I don't.  If I feel or sense something, and others don't, (maybe even make fun of me), I get even more scared.  I can feel so alone and wrong.  It helps when you take me seriously, regardless of my age, and ask me more questions about what I “see,” feel or sense.  I might be seeing something you need to know.

I really am your gift. I am not just a little person who needs to be "raised" and taught, and taken to activities.  I am not, by accident in your life.  Incredible or unbelievable as this may sound, I came to the people in my life to bring a message:  slow down.  Feel.  Be. Over and over again.  When you do, you will notice immediately, that I am not an obstacle to your work, or inconvenient to your daily life.  Instead, you will come to appreciate my honesty, humor, presence and love.

 "Be yourself, and if you don’t know for sure what   yourself is, ask me."  

--

 

TWO BIRDS AND A CROW

Two hummingbirds flew within two feet of my face as I was sitting outside, reading.  They appeared like twins, only inches apart, seemingly staring at me, getting my complete attention for at least fifteen seconds as they hovered in place.  Then, they were gone.  I was startled into the present moment.  My mind went silent.

Without attempting to give in-depth meaning to the event, I did notice I was free of thought as I continued reading.   Later that day, while riding my bike down a familiar street, my attenton was drawn to a big black crow swooping down from an overhead wire about fifty
feet from me, heading directly towards me at eye level and on a collision course.  He/he continued its flight path coming closer and closer. 

Expecting it to change its direction, the crow flew within a foot of my face before suddenly flying up and away, just missing my head by inches.  "OK, that's it,"my calm self said out loud. "Stay here, stay here.  Be present now, if only for seconds."     

ACTIVE VOICE FOR CHILDREN

In many cultures over the centuries, children have been marginalized and viewed as empty vessels needing to tbe filled with information, training, discipline and facts unrelated to their nature, their hearts, or their life purpose.  The adult world has often missed the person in favor of convenient labels and behavioral descriptions. 

If I slow down enough inside myself, I may explore how I personally view children and how "we" view children collectively.  What are our beliefs and expectations of children, educational systems, parenting and, possibly how our beliefs may interfere with easy harmonious, respectful relationships between children and adults.

I might even discover fresh ways to be with children and myself.  I could reclaim  my own sense of innocence, play and being present and real with myself and especially children.  I might even practice seeing through the eyes of children with a sense of wonder.  I could even ask myself "what would I have wanted from the adults around me, when I was a child?  What would have worked?  What would have been welcome?  

CHILDREN ARE FUNNY

What's funny about children.  Everything is funny about children. They play, they laugh, they hug, they kiss, they play more, and they cry when their bodies demand it. 

They communicate with people, dogs, cats, butterflies, bees, stuffed toys, pillows and
all so-called inanimate objects. 

They see things that we once saw but now tend to dismiss as not there.  They feel and sense things that we would feel too, if we slowed down and agreed to feel everything that was within and around us. 

The children, without being taught, care about everyone.Until taught differently, they see no separation between others and themselves.  They own nothing.  It is not mine, it is ours.  They have no need to own stuff.  Only play with it, study it, or hug it

Children really are funny, in the most positive way.  They can laugh and cry, always coming from the same internal source of expression.  Simple expression.   Children really are us externalized.   Children are a constant example of what we really look like inside,, whether we call them our own, or they’re free range children running through our lives……. having no need for adult identities, a public self, desire to look good,

impress anyone or have need to be right. 

Children are us, someone once told me.  Actually it was me that told me that. 

NORMA

My son and I went to a celebration/funeral today for a Native American/American Indian elder woman.  Her name is Norma.   Norma passed on, died, left this earth dimension in mid-June, 2015.  Her age does not matter.  

We met Norma five years ago when she volunteered to "teach" some students at his school how to make a Dream Catcher, something Native people often live with from birth. 

We only met Norma a few times, yet she often felt like "family."   I expected the church "celebration of life" to consist of a few people and family.  Instead over 500 people showed up,  people of different color, background, age and religion. 

We learned that Norma had led a life of connecting with people everywhere, dedicated to her five children, now older, and being an activist and advocate for all people.  She combined her Christian life with the ancient ways of Native Americans, specifically Apache. 

When I would sometimes sit with Norma, I listened to her stories of physical and emotional pain, her dedication to bringing about respect for everyone, and her great love for her family, comprised of grandchildren, and the children of others.  Norma insisted only that her children be of service, use no alcohol, cigarettes or drugs. 

She is an example of a human being that holds "space" for everyone.  Her daughter Andrea,  met Boye and I "one" time years ago.   And today, amongst over 500 people, Andrea, one of the speakers and singers at the celebration, hugged Boye and I, and remembered our names.

For me, I knew we were "seen" by Norma and family.  They saw who we were inside, beneath our outer personality, and ways.   

Norma and her family remember people.  They remember because they live out what they teach.  These five hundred people were part of her community of spirit. 

When I was eight years old, my father sat on the edge of my bed, as I was about to go sleepy time.  He
quietly started to

EVERYTHING IS ABOUT RELATIONSHIP

It was Linda Worldturner, an 18-year-old Lakota-Sioux Native woman who taught me that everything in life is about relationship, and, what that looks like when practiced daily.  Linda grew up on the Rosebud reservation in South Dakota.  Her home life was filled with alcohol, drugs, violence and stuff that can destroy the spirit.  Yet, for whatever reason, her spirit soared  

 

When I first met Linda at a unique program for, what were referred to as American Indians, I was just a standard white guy who grew up in L.A. on sandy beaches,long freeways and an awareness of Native people only from the movies.  Linda shared her life story once, and never again.  She didn’t need to.  Instead, she practiced connecting with everyone, even the all white staff that tended to hold Native people as needing to be civilized. 

By watching Linda interact with people of any age, color or racial belief, I saw what sacred looks like when practiced, and lived.  Relationship, I learned, wasn’t just about getting to know someone, or living with another person.  It is a way to be in life daily with all people, all the time, everywhere.  Without using or thinking the word sacred, I came to practice, more often, relating to people as sacred no matter what they believed, or who they were. .   

Linda never spoke of these things.  She simply smiled often, looked into your eyes and and cared for everyone.