I was asked to support and cushion her as she leaned into me strongly, allowing the little person to work her or his way out. Feeling the strength, power, and willingness of a woman giving birth, brought tears to my once dry eyes. Tears that carried the awe and wonder of a child being born, a being from another world.
I had to be, and was, totally present, "out of my mind," and responsive to what was taking place in front of me. The room around us held the mid-wife and four other human being friends, friends who were able to be silent witness, and supportive in their naturally quiet way.
From my perspective, the birth process seemed to be only minutes, yet probably much longer. Doesn't matter. As "he" emerged silently, without tears, his cord dangling loosely behind him, I was asked to lay on my back, shirtless, on an open massage table a few feet away.
Unknown as to why, I followed the instructions. Within moments, his minutes-old warm body was placed face down on my bare chest, his moist head just under my chin. I could only feel. I had no words. The feelings had no name. I lay quietly as the little being, (eventually to receive a name three years later), lay contentedly and silently on my body, resting. For this male body, mine, I felt beyond close to him, yet I had not yet seem his face nor whole body. I felt him. Just him.
I realized he had just emerged from another body, another dimension. All of the awe and wonder of birth brought an awakening within me. I started to feel the power, intention and willingness of women to consciously bring another body through them, be responsible for the life of that being, and, for some, know that is what women can do, and for some, what they are to do with the gift and willingness to consciously give birth. The gift of purpose ingrained.
As a curtain might open on a movie theater stage, revealing yet to be seen images, I started to see, for the first time, women as a bringer of life, a life force, an essential reason for earth to exist. Old patterns of beliefs and being with women began to soften. Yet, the remnants of judgments and beliefs I had learned through decades and cultural centuries, continued to live in my bones and body, only to eventually, and gradually be revealed and freed up as the little being allowed me to embrace, hug and kiss him. His innocence, playfulness, and ability to take very little seriously, freed me up from all the beliefs I had learned.......beliefs not my own.
To this day, 22 years later, I get to be with him daily. I get to see what being in the world, but not of it, is like. I get to re-find myself, discover the little being I was when I emerged from my mother.
