THE PEACEMAKER / ELDER WITHIN

RELI w      I wanted to find the peacemaker, leader and elder within me. I wanted to be free of having to make others wrong, or right.  I wanted to be free of reacting, aware that reacting to anything is always up to me.  No one makes me react. I wanted to change the game of side-taking, and the need to judge others.  I decided it was up to me to make this happen.

                 There are actions I can take, all by myself, in all relationships at work, home, and in the world, that do not require anything from anyone else. These actions are simple, immediate and inspiring. I can witness the change I want to see in the world and at home immediately. I can feel the shift of perception so that my perceived enemies become my guides and reflected shadow. They become, in the truest and most real sense, my teachers.

My intent is to interrupt some of what I’ve learned to believe about women, men, children, schools, apparent helpless body symptoms, relationships, working, and simply being alive. I can practice ways to immediately alter and change conflict, admonishment, and "make wrong" into respectful voluntary collaboration. I can practice working with myself to be free of blame, "having to be right,"  or need to sustain emotional positions.  I can even find the third side to bring the two sides together. To make this happen, I first decide I want to, and can go beyond the impossible  Impossible is a belief.  The instructions are there to follow with intent, intuition and senses.  It is a practice.  Freeing.           

DE-ADULTING #2

I believe that our son was born to show me how to de-adult myself to reveal and unravel all the beliefs I learned that are not mine, beliefs designed to construct an adult -- serious, appearing to be confident, hurried, busy, someone else’s definition of success, a world with little room for play, innocence, spontaneity - yet filled with rights and wrongs, should's, rules, regulations and a belief that these adult people should be in charge of children, demanding and authoritative.

Our son, from birth on, would have no part of this serious diversion from life. He would have no part of it, ever.  And I have met many children who would have no part of it.  They often become the so-called trouble makers, drop outs and ADD/ADHD diagnosed.

 To stay personal however, from birth on, our son insisted on forcing me to change my perception, to play, to laugh, to un-serious myself. I was in training and fortunately, for him and for me, I knew that, and welcomed it. He first reached into the hidden softness of my heart, through my veils of hardness and learned beliefs not my own, when he told me, at the age of five, "I don't need you to be with me. I need you to be with yourself. When you are with yourself, you are with me."